


My Heart is In Your Hands

by sopenation



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Graduation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Shirabu cries, Shirabu's shit ass emotional stability, semi falls in love, they fight, why am I obsessed with cherry blossoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25050334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopenation/pseuds/sopenation
Summary: The hardest thing in the world is having to say goodbye to him.Post Karasuno match, Shirabu storms off without a word. Semi can’t help but chase after him.
Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Comments: 11
Kudos: 230





	My Heart is In Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

> haha I made another one, complete with angst this time ;)

Numb.

That’s the only right way to describe how Semi’s feeling.

He’s numb, the ache in his muscles fading to a dull throb, faint, but enough for him to know it’s there, the way the gaping hole in his heart still is.

They've lost. There’s no going to nationals this year, no more matches for the third years to play. In a few months the cherry blossoms will bloom, and Semi will graduate.

He doesn’t cry on the bus ride home. Frankly, he doesn’t have any more tears left to cry. Instead, he offers Goshiki a shoulder to cry on, patting his hair and whispering words of reassurance.

Sometimes he envies the first years. They still have time with the team, without the stress of entrance exams or graduation creeping up on them. Semi can’t even bring himself to face the reality that soon, he’s going to have to say goodbye.

The thing that hurts him the most is having to say goodbye to _him_.

Pushing those thoughts away, he settles back into the present, listening to Goshiki’s quiet sniffs.

When they arrive at school, Coach Washijou gives them 15 minutes of free time to “reflect” before they began their hundred serves.

The second they step out of the bus, Shirabu immediately storms off.

Semi doesn’t hesitate to run after him.

He finds Shirabu in a secluded area of the school, kicking at rocks with a vengeance.

“What did those rocks ever do to you?”

Shirabu stiffens. “I’m not in the mood, _Semi-san_.”

Semi frowns. “I just _—"_

Shirabu snaps his head up to glare at him venomously, and Semi unconsciously takes a step back.

"What? Here to lecture me? Or brag about how you could've done better?"

“Shirabu _—”_

"I bet you spent the whole time on that bench wishing you were the one out there. That if it wasn't for _me_ we would have won.”

“That’s not—”

Shirabu ignores him, eyes glinting dangerously as he inches closer. “Must be a shame, isn’t it? First you get replaced by me, now you don’t even _get_ to go to nationals—”

 _“Shut the fuck up.”_ Semi hisses, stepping forward to close the small gap between them, using his height to tower over the second year and forcing him to crane his neck to look at him.

Shirabu’s eyes widen imperceptibly. Semi has told him to shut up before, but not like _this_ , when he's actually seething.

"What's your deal, Shirabu?" Semi clenches his jaw, pinning him down with a hard glare.

A forced laugh escapes Shirabu’s throat. " _My_ deal? We fucking lost! And to— what? —a fucking _nameless_ school of all things!" He's shouting now, close to tearing his hair out.

Semi tries to place a hand on his shoulder, but Shirabu slaps it away.

“I don’t want your pity.” He bites out.

“For God’s sake, I’m not pitying you!” Semi exclaims.

Shirabu scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

“Listen, you’re upset, I get it. _We lost_.” Shirabu’s face harden at his words, but Semi continues. “That doesn’t mean you get to take your anger out on me—”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

The scowl on Semi’s face deepens. This brat was going to be the end of him.

“Admit it, you think it’s my fault.”

Semi gapes. He’s about to speak up when Shirabu cuts him off, this time his voice barely above a whisper.

"It's _my_ fucking fault, isn't it?" Something in his voice catches his attention, and Semi realizes with a jolt that Shirabu is on the verge of tears. "I-I shouldn't have relied on Ushijima-san so much, maybe then we would have stood a chance.."

Just like that, his anger dissipates. “Shirabu…” He begins softly. "This isn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"But _I’m_ the setter. _I’m_ supposed to be the one person who knows what he's doing, to give us the best shot at winning." Shirabu countered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Semi shakes his head. "You’re not the only person on the team, Shirabu. I know you feel responsible but _no one_ is blaming you. These things.. They just happen sometimes. It’s not solely one person’s fault.”

Shirabu just stares at Semi, his bottom lip trembling. The ache in Semi's heart grows, and he wants nothing more than to hold him in his arms and piece him back together.

" Why," Shirabu asks. " _Why_ can't you just be _angry_?" He screams, fisting his hands into Semi’s collar and glaring at him through glassy eyes.

He’s breathing heavily, _demanding_ an answer from Semi as he struggled to hold back his tears.

Without breaking eye contact, Semi's hands come up to where Shirabu’s are gripping his shirt and gently, he pries them away. He doesn't let go though, instead he carefully laces their fingers together.

Bringing their hands up, he silently examines Shirabu’s worn hands. They’re smaller, daintier than his, yet the fading bruises littering them are a testament to the countless hours he puts into practice.

His thumb moves to brush delicately against the white tape circling his fingers, a small sign of comfort. Shirabu exhales shakily.

“I’m not angry at you, Shirabu.” He says simply, looking him straight in the eye. “And you shouldn’t be too.”

Shirabu finally breaks down.

Semi catches him, holding him close as Shirabu clutches his shirt like a lifeline, his shoulders shaking as muffled sobs wracked through his entire body.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Shirabu crying at all after the match. His heart breaks thinking about how Shirabu’s insecurities must have chipped away at his self-esteem as he suffered in silence, blaming himself for their loss.

He hugs him tighter, running a soothing hand down his back. “It’s okay to be sad sometimes, Shirabu.” He murmurs gently.

Shirabu just buries his face deeper into the crook of his neck, taking shuddering breaths.

“I… I wanted to play longer.” Shirabu sniffs.

Semi looks at him. “You still have next year.”

“That’s not… what I meant.” Shirabu’s grip on his shirt tightens, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “I wanted to play with _you_ longer.” He confesses, voice cracking.

The words _I don’t want to lose you_ go unspoken, but Semi hears them loud and clear nonetheless.

He leans forward to press their foreheads together, reaching for Shirabu’s hand to give it a light squeeze.

“We still have some time left.” He whispers. “Until then, I’ll stay by your side.”

Shirabu swallows thickly. “Promise?”

Semi smiles softly, pressing a gentle kiss on the younger’s knuckles. “I promise.”

He revels in the beautiful smile that graces Shirabu’s features, and somewhere outside the school grounds, the sun shines a little brighter.

“Come on, coach is probably waiting for us.” Ever so gently, Semi wipes his tears away, his hold on Shirabu’s hand never loosening.

They walk back hand in hand, the locks keeping Shirabu’s heart in place slowly crumbling to dust, and Semi entrusted with the key. 

-

He finds him in that exact same spot.

This time around, the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, chasing away the cold winter months.

Shirabu is standing underneath the trees, bathing in the warm glow and Semi stares, captivated, at his beauty that outshines even those of the flowers surrounding him.

His boyfriend doesn’t notice him walking towards him, until the cherry blossom he’s watching drift down falls onto Semi’s open palm.

The corners of Shirabu’s eyes crinkle. “Eita.”

Semi twirls the flower in his hand for a moment, before brushing Shirabu’s hair away and tucking it behind his ear.

“Hey, beautiful.” He leans in, rubbing his nose affectionately against his.

Shirabu laughs, hitting his arm playfully.

“Isn’t it a bit rude to run off during your boyfriend’s graduation?” Semi teases, a futile attempt to hide the painful ache in his heart.

Shirabu stills, his eyes misting over.

“I ran off _because_ my boyfriend is graduating.” Shirabu murmurs, reaching out a hand to cup Semi’s face, caressing his cheek.

Semi smiles sadly. They both knew this was coming, but they were still unprepared when the day finally arrived.

“Remember what you promised me? Last time we were here?” Shirabu suddenly asks, busy fiddling with the lapels of his jacket.

Semi furrows his brows. What was he talking about—

_Oh._

“I told you I would stay by your side.” Semi recalls, placing his hands over Shirabu’s and squeezing them gently, reminiscent of the last time they were here all those months ago.

Shirabu nods, hopeful eyes searching Semi’s face. “And do you still intend to keep it?”

Their faces now barely inches apart, Semi leans in to whisper one final sentence in his ear before capturing his lips in a longing kiss.

_“I never break my promises.”_

Shirabu melts, pulling him closer as Semi loops an arm around his waist, deepening the kiss.

When they break apart, Semi digs around in his pocket before pulling something out.

It’s then that Shirabu notices the missing button on his jacket.

“You already know this,” Semi smiles bashfully, placing the button onto his palm and closing his fist around it. “But I love you, Shirabu Kenjirou.”

Shirabu stares at the button in his hand, before a choked sob rises from his throat. He finds himself in Semi’s arms once more, tears streaming down his face as he tries to hold onto this moment.

“I’m going to miss you _so much_.” He hiccups into the crook of Semi’s neck.

Semi holds him tight, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as he tries in vain to blink away his own tears. 

Shirabu is the bright burst of sunlight in his world, and Semi is forever chasing after his warmth.

For the first time in forever, Semi no longer feels numb.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if this was shitty. I just really wanted Shirabu crying in Semi's arms and a button confession, so I rolled it into one fic.  
> Hopefully this was enjoyable. Kudos and comments are appreciated! They really make my day <3


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